How to Make a Kia Commercial

(With apologies to Shamus Young)

Shopping for a Delli Sandwich

If buying a sandwich were like shopping for a computer from Dell.
(Inspired by Shamus Young: "PC Hardware is 'Toast'".)

INT. "The Delli"

"Hi, how can I help you?"

"I'd like a ham sandwich on rye with swiss cheese."

"I'm sorry, we don't sell sandwiches like that."

"What, you don't sell ham sandwiches? Or on rye bread?"

"No, we have ham sandwiches and rye bread, but we don't sell them in that manner."

"You mean custom made to order?"

"No, we have custom-made sandwiches but—lemme just explain. We've determined that to serve our customers better, it's most efficient if we offer different lines of sandwiches, each tailored for a particular customer demographic's needs."

"Ok... tell me about your sandwich lines."

"Well, we have the Latitude line of sandwiches for our business user who need best-in-class sandwich reliability. Our Vostro line is popular with small business eaters who need a filling sandwich for not too much money. Our Inspiron sandwiches are great for home and home office eaters who need style and satisfaction from their lunches. And our Alienware line is best for power-eaters who want top-of-the-line sandwich performance."

Read more »

In non-breast-related news....

My second-favorite blogger, Shamus Young, finally released the "PixelCity" he has been working on as a screen saver. He did a series of posts about the development that I found quite fascinating. PixelCity is a procedural city generator that creates a picturesque night-time city scene. You can find the start of the series here. He also made a procedural terrain project a few years back which was also interesting.

So now all we have to do is create the procedural galaxy generator, extend the terrain generator to create an entire planet, integrate it with the city generator, and Bob's your uncle, SPM3DOF!

We really ought to get on that.

Gordon Freeman: Jerk.



Also from the same demented mind: roller-coaster bowling.

That demented mind is that of Shamus Young, whose blog I recently subscribed to. He is responsible for the hilarity of DM of the Rings, which has earned itself a spot in my "favorite webcomics" list on the right. He is 1) a geek, 2) a gamer (both tabletop and video), 3) a programmer, and 4) (this one is especially rare given the first three) a self-described devout Christian. It's nice to be able to visit a site devoted to my interests without worrying too much about how the author will find fit to offend me with language or ideology this time.