Monday, October 31, 2011
Statistics Quiz
If you randomly choose an answer to this question from the options provided, what is the chance that you'll choose the correct answer?
A) 25%
B) 50%
C) 0%
D) 25%
(H/T Shamus Young)
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
8:02 AM
1 Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Math problem, pop quiz
Sunday, October 30, 2011
More Totally Looks Like
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
11:32 PM
1 Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Anthony, babbies, Damien, pics, totally looks like
Friday, October 28, 2011
Science Discovers Cure for Too Many Brain Cells
I'll just go ahead and leave this here.
Special guest brain cell killing by Barats and Bereta.
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
7:46 AM
0
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Barats and Bereta, bears, second lowest form of blogging, videos, YouTube
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
The Damien-English Dictionary
The complete vocabulary
- Mama – Mommy (also used to identify an iPhone)
- Dada – Daddy/Donald
- Dadeye – Strawberry
- Nana – Banana
- Appo – Apple
- Ba-ba – Bottle
- Deedy – Mickey/Teddy
- Neeny/Ninny – Minnie
- Bubo – Pluto
- Doody – Goofy
- Daisy – Daisy Duck
- Pete – Pete the Cat
- Ohtoo – Toodles (Oh Toodles!)
- Adda/Addeye – Anthony
- Beeby – Baby (used interchangeably with Anthony for any baby/doll-like object)
- C-A-T Cat – Cat
- Mow/Mowf – Mouse
- Esseh – Elephant
- Giwah – Giraffe
- Bee – Bear
- Meow, Woof, Moo, Baa-a-a, Neigh, Oink, Qua (quack), Do-do-dooo (Cocka-doodle-doo), Twee (tweet, squeak), Roar, Gwah (growl), Ribbit, Hoot, Oo-ah-ah (howler monkey) – Various animal noises
- Ohwy – (Oh Really?) Snowy Owl sound
- Yahwy – (Ya Really!) Horned Owl sound
- Dadum, dadum, dadum, dadum – Shark noises
- Voom voom – Car sound effect
- Choo choo – Train sound effect
- Dwuh – Truck (no F-bombs from our little one)
- Uh-oh, Oh no! – Various exclamations (usually said with hands on side of head or on cheeks)
- Night-night! – Goodnight
- Hi – Hello
- Bye – Goodbye
- Aww – What he says when leaning in for a hug
- Yay! (clapping) – Used after a song
- Wuh, Two, Twee, Fo, Fi, Si, Sehseh, Ay, Ni, Ten, Lehveh, Twev, Tootee, Fotee, Fitee, Sitee, Sehtee, Aytee, Nitee, Twehtee! – Numbers
- Weh, Ownh (nasally grunt at the end), Yewo, Gwee, Boo, Popo, Bwa, Why – Colors
- Whasa? – What's that?
- Hussssssssss – The old woman whispering "hush"
- Up, UP, UP! – Where the Snort takes the Baby Bird
- Boo (short oo) – Book
- Boo! (long oo) – Boo!
- Deedoo! – Peekaboo!
- Yoda, Ahtoo – Star Wars characters
- Bah – Ball
- Bwah – Block
- Soosoo – Circle
- Suhsuhsuh – Cylinder
- Cue – Cube
- Twiah – Triangle
- Eye, No, Mouf, Ee (ear), Heh (head/hair), Chee (cheek), Teef, Knee, Foo, Toe – Body parts
- Fafa, suh, *kiss* – The Sign of the Cross, kissing the Rosary at the end
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
8:35 PM
1 Witless Retort(s)
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
QFT
"If you're going to come here and get our food, bedding and clothing, have books and medical supplies for no charge, they need to give back. There's a lot of takers here and they feel entitled." [Emphasis added.]
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
6:36 PM
0
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Mike Flynn, OWS, QFT, quote of the day/week/month
Sunday, October 23, 2011
The Art of Non-Argument: How to Debate without Debating
There is a strand of argumentation that I have been seeing very frequently of late, and it is one of which I have become increasingly weary, and would love nothing more than if the entire world just agreed to drop the whole thing for the good of mankind. Rightly speaking, it isn't really even an argument, but rather a non-argument. It is an attempt to do away with argument, stop it cold in its tracks, so that the conversation can't continue.
What irks me most about the non-argument, is that, in its attempt to defuse the disagreement charitably, it doesn't seem to have thought itself through very well. For, truly, aren't all our beliefs personal? If one person's argument is not admissible because it's his personal belief, why not any other's? Shouldn't we adopt the post permissible moral code possible? "Well, yes," reply the non-arguers. "To each his own." But then, does that not allow for all sorts of atrocities, from murder, rape, and torture to shoplifting, petty theft and everything in between? "No of course not! You mustn't harm another person!" But... isn't this your personal belief? And since the definition of "person" is one of the very things the non-argument is often used to obfuscate, why should we use your personal definition of personhood over any other? Taking it further, isn't it only your personal belief that personal beliefs should not be forced on others? In its attempt to marginalize the other person's argument, the non-argument marginalizes itself.
The non-argument attempts to reduce law, justice, and morality to the realm of the subjective, such that preference for one morality over another is simply like a preference for chocolate over vanilla. The problem is, I've never met someone who actually treats morality as if its not objective. Those who make the assertion that morality is always a private matter are the ones who are most indignant and most self-righteous at perceived injustices against themselves or others. If all morality is a private matter, subject to personal opinion, then there can be nothing inherently immoral about injustice. On what ground do you protest someone who commits an injustice against another? It may be your personal opinion that his actions are immoral, but who are you to enforce your personal opinions on others?
Of course, I'm being a little unfair here by grouping everyone who makes the non-argument into a group with those who deny objective morality. Many who non-argue are not opposed to the concept of a universal moral law, but rather, simply misunderstand the opposing view. The non-arguer may not understand the reasons behind his opponent's views, and just simply infer that it's for some mysterious unknowable reason. "You only say that because you think the Bible tells you to." But this, again, is a non-argument, because it doesn't address the actual reasons behind the view, just the inferred reasons. It ignores the appeals to natural law and objective truth, and instead simply attacks a strawman.
Despite these obvious (to me) problems with the non-argument, I continue to see it used whenever someone doesn't want to admit a view contrary to their own into the debate. Whenever someone takes a stand for traditional marriage, the non-argument will be made "that's just your personal opinion about marriage! You can't force that on others!" Whenever someone says that it is an injustice to deny the unborn their rights, someone else will non-argue "but that's merely your opinion on personhood! You can't deny a woman her right to choose!" Whenever someone explains the moral difficulties of euthanasia, the non-argument appears, "keep your morality off my body!" In none of the cases is the non-arguer actually making a case about the nature of marriage, the rights of the human person, or the dignity of human life. All he is saying is that all such arguments are irrelevant.
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
5:48 PM
2
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Joe thinks he's GK Chesterton, rants, simple madness
Saturday, October 22, 2011
World of Warcraft: Attack of the Pandas
Following on the heels of their success with 2004's hit World of Warcraft, Blizzard Entertainment upped the stakes. For their 2007 expansion The Burning Crusade, they introduced the corrupted demon-hunter Illidan Stormrage, Lord of the Black Temple.
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| You are not prepared! |
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| His frozen heart lies beneath the tundra of Northrend. |
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| The world shall burn. |
Giant Pandas!
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| Their superpower is the Power of Love. |
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
10:34 AM
4
Witless Retort(s)
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Hateful Kitty
Kathleen De Vere, of my favorite Commodore 64-based Canadian sketch comedy group "Loading Ready Run", has seen fit to draw an entry to her webcomic "Things My Cat Hates" based on a suggestion I sent her.
You should go check it out by clicking here.
Or here.
Or here, if you like to wait until the last minute, but that will be your last chance.
Of course, Kathleen, herself, had one of her tweets used in an Old Spice internet response ad last year. For those keeping track, this gives me an Old Spice Man Your Man Could Smell Like index of two.
(OK, I lied. This is really your last chance. For reals.)
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
9:05 AM
3
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: kittens, LoadingReadyRun, Webcomic
Friday, October 14, 2011
Premises, Premises
So, I've had the idea for this post for a while, but haven't been able to put it in words. I had planned writing a long, rambling, boring post, but I realized it could probably be said better shorter.
Also, it helps that SF author, statistician, amateur philosopher and historian, and all around Cool Guy Michael Flynn has done the bulk of the work for me. Recently, he wrote a piece on the "ladder of inference". You should go read it. No, seriously. Go. I'll wait.
All done? To summarize for those too lazy to read, the ladder of inference is basically the process we mentally apply whenever presented with facts. It goes like this:
- I observe objectively.
- I select data from what I observer.
- I add meaning to what I have selected.
- I make assumptions based on the meaning I have added.
- I draw conclusions, which prompt feelings.
- I adopt beliefs about the world.
- I take action based on my beliefs and feelings.
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
8:49 PM
2
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: abortion, ladder of inference, Mike Flynn, sexuality
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Ever Get the Feeling that You're Being Watched?
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
3:36 PM
0
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Anthony, babby, Mickey, Phineas and Ferb, pics
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Is This the Line for the Apple Store?
I don't normally recommend the webcomic Least I Could Do, but when I do, it's freaking hilarious.
The "Occupy Wall Street" protests bring three things to my mind:
- Why should I care if my neighbor makes a million times more money than I do? Anytime I see some statistic like "the discrepancy between rich and poor is the greatest it's ever been in history" or "the wealthiest 400 Americans have as much money as the poorest 150 million," my reaction is "so?" This is nothing more than a red herring. If the poor have the necessities they need to survive, then it doesn't matter how much money the rich have. If the poor don't have the necessities they need to survive, then it doesn't matter how much money the rich have.
- The anger and rage seems to be aimed at "bankers" and "Wall Street". If the protesters could name names and deeds of people who have committed crimes, they may have a point. But to blame "Wall Street" or "bankers" seems to blame a class, rather than a person. You might as well just blame the Jews.
- "You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, his male or female slave, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." (Ex. 20:17)
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
9:42 PM
1 Witless Retort(s)
File Under: covetousness, Stupidity, Webcomic
Chesterton Quote of the Day/Week/Month
For you mothers.
Supposing it to be conceded that humanity has acted at least not unnaturally in dividing itself into two halves, respectively typifying the ideals of special talent and of general sanity (since they are genuinely difficult to combine completely in one mind), it is not difficult to see why the line of cleavage has followed the line of sex, or why the female became the emblem of the universal and the male of the special and superior. Two gigantic facts of nature fixed it thus: first, that the woman who frequently fulfilled her functions literally could not be specially prominent in experiment and adventure; and second, that the same natural operation surrounded her with very young children, who require to be taught not so much anything as everything. Babies need not to be taught a trade, but to be introduced to a world. To put the matter shortly, woman is generally shut up in a house with a human being at the time when he asks all the questions that there are, and some that there aren't. It would be odd if she retained any of the narrowness of a specialist. Now if anyone says that this duty of general enlightenment (even when freed from modern rules and hours, and exercised more spontaneously by a more protected person) is in itself too exacting and oppressive, I can understand the view. I can only answer that our race has thought it worth while to cast this burden on women in order to keep common-sense in the world. But when people begin to talk about this domestic duty as not merely difficult but trivial and dreary, I simply give up the question. For I cannot with the utmost energy of imagination conceive what they mean. When domesticity, for instance, is called drudgery, all the difficulty arises from a double meaning in the word. If drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home, as a man might drudge at the Cathedral of Amiens or drudge behind a gun at Trafalgar. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless and of small import to the soul, then as I say, I give it up; I do not know what the words mean. To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labors and holidays; to be Whiteley within a certain area, providing toys, boots, sheets, cakes and books, to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.
--G.K. Chesterton, What's Wrong with he World, Part 3 "Feminism, or the Mistake about Woman", III "The Emancipation of Domesticity".
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
4:49 PM
2
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: GK Chesterton, quote of the day/week/month
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Some Much Needed Perspective
Ok, let's get something straight. I've seen a risible idea circulating lately and I cannot let it stand, so I have come to set the record straight.
You ready?
Steve Jobs Did Not Change The World.
Blasphemy! I hear you say.
But get over it. He did no such thing.
To prove my point, here's a list of 11 things that Changed the World:
- Christianity
- Islam
- The Roman Empire
- Aristotelian and Thomistic philosophy
- The scientific world view (that material causes can explain empirical observations without invoking supernatural causes, not that everything can be explained scientifically, I mean).
- The Protestant Revolt
- The Enlightenment
- The steam engine
- The industrial revolution
- The automobile
- Electrification
- The graphical user interface
- The portable MP3 player
- The online music store
- The smartphone
- The tablet PC
- The graphical user interface
- The portable MP3 player
- The online music store
- The smartphone
- The tablet PC
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
12:31 PM
0
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Apple sucks, rants, whale biology
Saturday, October 01, 2011
Photodump
Totally Looks Like
| Anthony totally looks like Perry the Platypus. |
| Damien totally looks like Anthony | |
| Therefore, Damien totally looks like Perry the Platypus | |
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
1:27 PM
3
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Anthony, babbies, Damien, fourth lowest form of blogging, Phineas and Ferb, photodump




