The Wikipedia Game.

Grats to Dave, last week's winner, who will receive his marshmallows approximately never.

This week, you are to link from The Pirates of Penzance to the Inverse Ninja Law. You cannot use date or year links, or more than one of the links used in the Six Degrees tool's path (i.e. Animaniacs, Original Trilogy (Star Wars), R2-D2). The magic number is 4.

This one is really easy.

Statshot
A look at the numbers that shape your world.

Why there was no Statshot yesterday.

Don't you wish you were here?

I took this a couple weeks ago with my cell phone:
I wish I'd had a camera when it said -2. We had 22 consecutive days under freezing. Lately it's been pretty warm, 30-35. When the cold snap broke it was a balmy 42, which felt great. I was out one night when the wind chill was around -30. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. It's a nice change of pace from the Land of the Eternal Humidifier.

Plus, there's a nice little shop just down the street from me that sells all kinds of delicious things, such as:Flavors shown here include White Chocolate, Hazelnut, "Happy Cows" (mix of milk & white chocolates), Yogurt, Dark Chocolate, Crispy Cereals, Caramel, and Strawberry Yogurt. Those are just the standard-sized bars. They have some non-Milka chocolate too, including a bar I've been working on for a while that is 90% cocoa, i.e. very dark. Not for beginners.

Best turn down the volume....

In the past, we've had trouble shipping stuff in a timely manner. This may be why.

Selling on Ebay: The Work from Home Scam

I constantly read articles and hear from friends that they are or know people who are successful ebay sellers, and that the majority of these sellers are stay-at-home moms who simply post an item a day and make a full-time income. So I decided to try it out, and after a brief experiment, I can safely say that those who spread the ebay work-at-home myth are all big fat liars. BECAUSE:

I am a new ebay seller... ...and I suck!

But it is *so* much fun.

Selling on ebay can be just as addictive as buying--so much so that I lost money by dropping the price on my first item just so it would sell and still got a thrilling rush when it sold. The item in question is a pre-1906 copy of Essays by Ralph Waldo Emmerson. It cost me about $2 when everything was said and done to list it, and someone bought it for 99 cents. I decreased the shipping from $5 to $4, and it should only cost about $3 to ship, but the box itself to ship it in should be about $2, so I made a total of NEGATIVE $2 on this one. BUT IT SOLD!

Yesterday Thomas and I went garagesaling. (Yes, that is a verb when used as I just did.) We bought a bunch of books, baby clothes, antique salt and pepper shakers, and odd dishes. The good news is that of the $4.50 I spent on odd dishes, they are cummulatively worth about $185, and you can sell them one dish at a time, so that’s cool. The only problem is, there only seem to be about a handful of people buying these exotic antique dishes with the makers’ stamps on the bottom. The good news is that since I only have $1 at stake for each lot, I can afford to sell them cheaper than the competition.

Oh, and I have to add an aside--I LOVE looking up the different marks on antique china. It’s fascinating to learn about the makers and how much each brand is worth. (Hint: if you ever see ANYTHING--I don’t care if it is a doll piture from a doll china set--marked "Noritake," buy it for a quarter and send it my way! I will split the profit with you.) It was quite funny last night to look up "Bukigawa" and "Dukigawa" on ebay to return no results, and then have the highly intelligent Google ask, "Did you mean Fukigawa?" At that point I blessed the founders of Google. I could not for the life of me figure out what that first calligraphic letter was on that mark on my hand-painted china--though I DID note with hilarity that someone listed their hand-painted Bukigawa cups on ebay, and laughed that they could be so ignorant.

The coolest thing I have up for sale appears to be an antique vintage salt and pepper shaker in the shape of a telephone. The first shaker is the phone itself, which lifts off the base, and the base is the second shaker. It had a bid up the first hour and has three watches already. Maybe it’s a real gem, we’ll see.

It'll probably be a gem that sells for 99 cents again, at which point I will be out 75 cents. But it's hard to sell anything for more than a dollar. If you don’t take any of the bells and whistles, it costs about about a dollar per item just to list your stuff on ebay. What I have found is there is a TON of competition in any ebay market, so you either have to underlist your items and buff up the shipping, or...don’t sell.

As for all of these mythical stay-at-home moms who work from home and make a full-time income selling on ebay and still take their kids to soccer practice...well, I would like to know what they’re selling and how they spend time with their children too. I have spent 50% of my existence over the last two days out hunting for "treasure" and the other 50% writing it up on ebay.

They must be selling prescription drugs under the code name of "Baby Gap."

The Wikipedia Game.

Grats to Mom B., winner of last week's contest.

This week you are to connect Sun Tzu to Zerg rush (y'know, because he invented it; Actually, I'll bet Sun Tzu woulda been hella good a StarCraft).

You cannot use date or year articles or links in the "External Links" section of the articles. The magic number is 4. And no cheatin'. Don't think I won't know if you did. It won't help you either, since it'll give you a 5-step path.

Science vs. Faith.

More flow chart goodness in response to the flow chart idiocy propagated by another website.



An Idiot of the Day/Week/Month award goes to the operator of that website. And an honorary Idiot award goes to Brian Briggs of BBspot for linking to it. Every time I get the urge to go back to BBspot to see what I've been missing, I'm reminded why I stopped going.

Statshot.
A look at the numbers that shape your world.

How Joe spends his time in WoW.

W.W.D.N.C.D? This was in response to some treasonous Visio diagram that misrepresents the President's war policy. Some people are lucky to live in a time where liberty is held higher than life.

A Public Service Announcement from American Greetings Corporation.
By Waylon Brendlinger, CEO American Greetings Corporation

We here at American Greetings Corporation™ take the health and happiness of this country very seriously. That's why, when we reviewed our profits from this past Valentine's Day, we were extremely disappointed to learn we had not made as much money as we wanted. Why is that a bad thing? Well, let me tell you.

If we don't make boat loads of money during the Valentine's Day season, or "The February Warmth and Goodwill Season," as we prefer to call it to show the proper respect for our multi-cultural brothers and sisters, that means that not enough people spent money on Valentine's Day merchandise. And do you know what happens when you don't spend a lot of money on Valentine's Day? That's right; you risk the health and happiness of your entire family.

Studies have shown that there is a direct correlation between Valentine's Day expenditure and health and happiness. In one recent study, it was demonstrated conclusively that the quality of Valentine's Day sex among couples was directly proportionate to the money spent. In general, men reported "quality time" with their significant others was more fulfilling as they spent more money.

Oh, but the correlation doesn't end there. Men who did not spend enough money on their others did not just have bad sex. They also had incurred negative health effects. For instance, in one study, several men who forgot Valentine's Day or did not spend a significant amount had their penises fall right off! You don't want to be like those guys, now do you? Do you?

No, of course not. That's why you need to spend lots of money on Valentine's Day. To help you out, we've compiled the survey results into an easy to read chart that shows the probable effects of various Valentine's Day expenditure categories. We hope this helps you determine how much you should spend come next Valentine's Day.

$0-$50: Death/Severe Emasculation
$51-$100: Impotence
$101-$500: Second base only
$501-$1000: Mediocre sex
$1000+: Best sex ever.

I hope this helps you understand the grave importance of Valentine's Day expenditures. Allow me to close with the following graph, which must be true because it was made in Excel.




I think that any rational person, after being confronted with this incontrovertible
evidence, would know to do the right thing.

The Wikipedia Game.

Grats to The Blue Fox, winner of last week's contest. Marshmallows will be sent in no more than 1 zillion years.

Now, certain exploits to the game have been brought to my attention, so I'll have to add some rules to make it harder. Be sure to read the rules carefully each week, as I'll change them specifically for each contest.

Even with the stricter rules, sure, you could still find a way to cheat. But where's the fun in that?

This week, you must link from Palos Verdes Peninsula to J. S. Bach. You cannot use articles for years or dates (e.g. 1882) and you must use links contained within the article text. Links in sidebars or bottom bars are not allowed. My magic number is 3 links.

A clarification on redirects: if one article redirects to another, either article is acceptable. So in this contest, both J. S. Bach and Johann Sebastian Bach are acceptable.

Oh, and Bathroom Correspondent Tom Adams is disqualified for life, for ruining the game for everyone else.

So I've been trying for a while to come up with a Valentine's Day post. But thanks to our friends laziness and plagiarism, it looks like I don't have to.

One of the webcomics I read is called "Least I Could Do." I won't link it because it doesn't meet FU-News' high standards of link-worthiness (it's basically a comic strip about several wacky 20-somethings and their lives of hilarity and debauchery). You can Google it if you're interested, but don't say I didn't warn you. I'm not sure why I read it. It's either because a) the author is a little bit of a geek, which I relate to, or b) because the artist draws plenty of attractive women in the strip. Could be either one.

Anyways, despite the author's shortcomings, he occasionally gets something right. Today was one of those days.

From his daily Blog posting:

"The real purpose of this post was to talk about today, February 14th, Valentine's Day.

"Pay attention now, kids, this is important.

"Valentine's Day as a commercial holiday is simply full of (crap). It's loud, it's obnoxious and it's plenty overrated and over hyped. Frankly, I have no idea who St Valentine was, or which one of his enemy's hearts he ripped out in order to get a holiday named after him, but that doesn't really matter at this point. At the core of it, the intention of St Valentine's, to me, was something very simple.

"It's an excuse.

"You know how selfish we all tend to get, how wrapped up in our own stupidities and ambitions we usually are. There are times, many times, that we simply don't see or appreciate all the good in our lives. Despite all our best intentions, as much as we say it will never happen, we are all guilty of this at one time or another.

"How often do you express appreciation to those dear people in your life? How often do you get flowers for your wife or girlfriend? How often do you show up at your mother's house with a box of chocolates and a card?

"Probably not as often as you should.

"Well now you have an excuse, that extra little push to do something that you should be constantly doing anyways.

"So forget about the overblown gestures of romance and love today, and instead, focus on the little ones, the important ones, to the people that matter.

"Tell your father how much you respect him, and how you wish that you grew up to possess even half his morality and integrity. Tell your mother that you don't spend time with her because you have to, but because you genuinely want to, and that you consider her one of your closest friends. Tell your brother how proud you are of everything he's accomplished professionally, and that from time to time, he actually acts his age. Tell your significant other how she constantly makes you smile and somehow manages to quiet that chaotic piece of real estate you call a mind.

"Valentines Day. It's an excuse.

"Use it."

To his last paragraph, I could only add "And tell your sister how much you admire her and look up to her as a roll model."

Statshot.
A look at the numbers that shape your world

How the Murloc spends her time in WoW.

My car must hate me
So much for global warming, eh?

Inspired by a true story...and by some comics Tom drew my attention to last week...

Kiosk 3D

The Wikipedia Game.

Grats to Tom who won last week's contest by virtue of being the only one who tried.

This week, you must link from Unicron to Radical Islam (Islamic Fundamentalism). My magic number is 4 links.

Statshot.
A look at the numbers that shape your world.

Joe's greatest fears.

America Must Never Forget

I present to you, for your edification, a photograph of President of the United States Jimmy Carter fending off a killer rabbit:

(image courtesy of the Jimmy Carter Library)

You can view the super-ultra-high-res original at Wikipedia.

FMC Promo