Friday, February 03, 2012
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
On Martyrdom.
Years ago, back when I went to the YMI day retreats, one of my group leaders asked us if we knew what it meant to be a martyr. Me, always the over-achiever, raised my arm high and proclaimed that it was someone who died for their faith. The missionaries laughed at me. "Not in America!" they proclaimed.
And I think they are right. The idea of feeding Catholics to lions, or burning them to death as was the fate of the Ugandan martyrs, seems highly unlikely. The American character is too averse to such open persecution, and the evil too blatant, to really grab hold in this country. So what does martyrdom look like in America?
(And you are fooling yourself if you think there aren't American martyrs. The world cannot simultaneously hate the Church and tolerate Her presence. A sinner hates nothing more than the guilt of his sin, and cannot help but harbor a grudge against those who reinforce that guilt by denouncing the sin.)
About once a year, a priest from Vladivostok, Russia, makes the tour of Orange County, preaching at parishes, and asking for support for the missionary work in Russia, undoing the evils of the Communists. He tells the story of what happened to the Church in Vladivostok at the beginning of the Revolution. Most of the city's inhabitants were Orthodox—too many to openly persecute—so the Soviets simply bombed the churches. One Easter Sunday, in front of all the faithful, they simply closed the Orthodox churches, save one, and blew them up, to be rebuilt for The Party's use. The Catholics were not so lucky. They were a small minority, and the Communists saw no reason to try and tolerate them. Catholics were simply rounded up and executed, and the city didn't notice much difference.
So there is strength in numbers. It's hard to imagine a relatively peaceful country killing off a fifth of its inhabitants (or even a twentieth, if we only count those who meet the bare minimum requirement of weekly Mass attendance). 60 million (or 15 million) is a lot of graves to fill. But the tactics of the Soviets may lend an insight. If there are too many to round up, simply keep them out of their churches.
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
7:14 PM
3
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Catholicism, contraceptive mentality, Culture of Death, evil, politics
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Dying of Laughter
Star Wars as an allegory of Vatican II.
The heroes involved with saving the Church from the Culture of Death, i.e. rescuing Leia from the Death Star, was Paul VI, John Paul II, and the faithful Catholic laity … that is, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo.
The way to destroy of the Culture of Death is, paradoxically, by means of more life … that is, by sex, impregnation … and so forth. At the battle of Yavin, the rebels intend to symbolically do just that … namely (hear me out on this one) … have sex with the Death Star. Oh, man, I’ve really lost it haven’t I? The rebel starfighters attempt to shoot proton torpedos (which vaguely look like sperm) into a small exhaust port (which, I’ll just say it, represents the vaginal opening). Furthermore, the rebel’s ships are called X-Wings and Y-Wings … which are, of course, represent X Chromosomes and Y Chromosomes (i.e. the sex-determining structures of DNA involved in reproduction). Moreover, imperial TIE Fighters, which represent contraception (i.e. TIEing one’s tubes … and later on TIE “Interceptors” which sound like “Contraceptors”), try to destroy them to prevent this symbolic act of impregnation.
While Luke is narrowing in on the target with his targeting computer, Obi-Wan mystically tells him to “let go” and just “use the force,” as the computer is destined to fail. In other words, Obi-Wan is encouraging a natural method for this act rather than an artificial one. Luke obeys him, and it works. This, of course, parallels how Paul VI advocated natural sex as opposed to artificial birth control, and John Paul II followed his predecessor in this. John Paul II thus helped to blow up of the Culture of Death with his … yes, that’s right …Theology of the Body (his pivotal work explaining to the modern mind the correct view one should have with regard to human sexuality).(H/T Mike Flynn)
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
10:51 PM
0
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Catholicism, Mike Flynn, star wars
Monday, September 26, 2011
Catholicism on Public Television
Father Robert Barron's Catholicism will be airing on PBS stations nationwide, as well as on EWTN. You will want to catch this one. It's inspired by Kenneth Clark's Civilisation and looks to be amazing. You can find out more (and watch clips from it) here.
You can also find out air dates for your area here.
For those of us in LA/Orange Counties, episodes 1, 3, 4, and 5 will be on KLCS (channel 58) Mondays at 9pm, starting October 3rd. KVCR (channel 24) will air it Tuesdays at 8pm, starting on the 11th. Those in Lake Elsinore, I assume, can get KVCR (Riverside/San Bernardino).
If those in Bakersfield can get Fresno stations, KVPT will air all four PBS episodes on October 23rd starting at 11am.
In the Tampa area, you can catch it on WEDU on Wednesdays at 11pm, starting October 5th.
In Chicago (Fr. Barron's home diocese), it will be on WTTW Thursdays at 8pm starting October 13th, with encores the following Sundays at 4pm.
In South Bend (I think I have readers there?) it will be on WNIT Thursdays, October 13th and 20th, from 9-11pm.
If those in the DC area weren't so busy trying to raise well-adjusted children, and still had access to on-air television, they could have watched the first episode on Maryland PTV this past Thursday at 8pm, and the second this coming Thursday, the 29th, at the same time.
If I missed anyone, check here for your market.
The remaining episodes (2, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) will air on EWTN on November 16th-19th, repeatedly.
And if you can't catch it on TV, potentially because you're lame or because you live in a stone-age commune and don't have TV, you can buy the DVD box set for a kingly sum of $150 (I know what's going on my Birthday/Christmas list this year!). Or you can wait for your parish to host a showing, unless you go to some hippie new-age parish.
There's also a book to go along with it. Again, you will not want to miss this.
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
7:50 PM
2
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Catholicism, Father Barron, PSA
Thursday, February 10, 2011
iConfess I'm Shocked
So my friend's iPhone app has been doing quite well, apparently.
It's now the top paid app in the "Lifestyles" section of the app store.
And it's also in the top 25 purchased apps in the app store.
It started small, with the Catholic blogosphere.
Thomas Peters at American Papist praised it.
Mark Shea called it "very cool."
Father Z called it "useful but flawed."
Father Roderick tweeted about it.
Even Father Barron recommended it.
Early on in the viral outbreak, Patrick himself appeared for an interview on one of SQPN's podcasts.
Then it got big.
CNN: New app helps Catholics confess on the go.
Fox: Church Approves 'Confession' App for iPhone.
CNBC: Bless me iPhone for I have sinned.
New York Times: Forgive Me, Father, for I Have Linked.
Even Perez Hilton mentions it.
Some of the coverage was good:
AP: Religion Tech: Confessing Sins on Your iPhone.
Other, well, not so much, prompting Get Religion to correct The Times (of London).
Then it got... really big.
Father Federico Lombardi, director of the Vatican press office, commented on it, saying it is not a replacement for confessing to a priest. Of course, Patrick already new that and never intended that it would be used as a substitute, only as an assistance.
This caused a fair amount of confusion as several news outlets announced that the Vatican "excommunicated" the app. Seriously.
HuffPo: Vatican Bans Confession Via iPhone App.
Reuters (via LA Times): New iPhone app helps Catholics through confession.
The Telegraph: Vatican bans iPhone 'God app'.
Of course, you can't say the phrase "One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic" in an empty room without stirring up controversy. The range of criticism showed the Chesterton effect in full force. Complaints in the comments sections on the blogs and news articles ranged from "the Catholic Church is so silly for offering this backwards and outdated rite. Why, a Catholic can commit the most outrageous sin and simply confess to a priest to receive absolution! It makes wrong-doing so easily forgiven as to encourage it!" to "the Catholic Church is so silly for offering this quaint and un-biblical rite. Why, anyone can receive forgiveness by simply offering contrition directly to God! Involving a priest simply adds needless complexity to obtaining redemption to the point of encouraging people not to seek it!" to "the Catholic Church is so silly for offering this wrong-headed and hurtful rite. Why, telling people to confess their sins to a priest makes them feel guilty and shameful about ordinary behavior! The guilt-complex it creates is responsible for driving gay teens to suicide!"
(In case you don't believe me on that last one, this HuffPo piece makes a connection between Pat's app and teen suicide. For reals.)
Despite my earlier protestations, I did end up buying the app today. The personalized examination of conscience is good. This is what it gave me when I entered my name.
| Perhaps a little too good |
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
9:54 PM
0
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Catholicism, confession, iPhone, LinkDump
Monday, January 31, 2011
iConfess
Let's try this again, shall we?
So, there's an interesting new iPhone app that's climbing the charts. I'll let the press release explain it:
South Bend, IN—Little iApps, LLC is pleased to announce the release of Confession: A Roman Catholic App, its very first application for iPhone™, iPad, and iPod touch®. Developed for those who frequent the sacrament and those who wish to return, this confession helper is priced at $1.99 and is available for download at the iTunes store. This announcement follows directly on the heels of Pope Benedict’s message for the 45th World Communications Day address in which he emphasized that new media, “if used wisely, can contribute to the satisfaction of the desire for meaning, truth and unity which remain the most profound aspirations of each human being.”
Designed to be used in the confessional, this app is the perfect aid for every penitent. With a personalized examination of conscience for each user, password protected profiles, and a step-by-step guide to the sacrament, this app invites Catholics to prayerfully prepare for and participate in the Rite of Penance. Individuals who have been away from the sacrament for some time will find Confession: A Roman Catholic App to be a useful and inviting tool.That's right, an app to help you in the confessional! Just what this world needs! (Seriously, have you been paying attention to what's going on out there? Confession is just the thing for it.) I, personally, haven't picked it up yet. A) I already know how to make a good confession, thank you very much, and B) storing a "personalized examination of conscience" on a portable, easily-lost-or-stolen device makes me uncomfortable, password-protected or no.
But this app is interesting for two reasons. Firstly, it's the first iPhone, iPod, or iPad app to receive a nihil obstat and imprimatur. Secondly, it was written by one of my college buddies, Patrick, who I went to Austria with, and shared a house with my senior year.
He didn't write it by himself, mind. Anyways, the app has been doing very well in the app store, making its way into the top 25 paid apps in the "Lifestyles" section, almost surpassing the "Adult Sex Game HD" app in terms of popularity.
| Interesting juxtaposition |
So, if you're new to the sacrament, or a frequent-goer, perhaps you could check out my friend's app? I'll let him close out this post:
Pope Benedict’s general prayer intention for January 2011 was, “that young people may learn to use modern means of social communication for their personal growth and to better prepare themselves to serve society.” Little iApps developer and co-founder, Patrick Leinen, said, “Our desire is to invite Catholics to engage in their faith through digital technology. Taking to heart Pope Benedict XVI’s message from last years’ World Communications Address, our goal with this project is to offer a digital application that is truly ‘new media at the service of the Word.’ The app has already aided one man in returning to the sacrament after 20 years. We hope many more will take advantage of this new confession resource.”
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
10:01 PM
0
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Catholicism, confession, iPhone, sacraments, Steubie U
Saturday, October 02, 2010
LinkDump
"A group proposes to build a religious establishment on their own property near a site associated with great pain and significance for some people. These people, rightly or wrongly, associate that religion with the many deaths that were caused and so raise a great ruckus in protest against the said establishment. For their part, the religious establishment pleas that they intend to pray for all who died there, including their own co-religionists. But this plea is dismissed," writes philosopher, statistician, physicist, historian, SF author extraordinaire, and all-around cool guy Mike Flynn.
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
3:07 PM
0
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: abortion, atheism, Catholicism, Islam, LinkDump
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Lauda Sion
Sion, lift up thy voice and sing:
Praise thy Savior and thy King,
Praise with hymns thy shepherd true.
All thou canst, do thou endeavour:
Yet thy praise can equal never
Such as merits thy great King.
See today before us laid
The living and life-giving Bread,
Theme for praise and joy profound.
The same which at the sacred board
Was, by our incarnate Lord,
Giv'n to His Apostles round.
Let the praise be loud and high:
Sweet and tranquil be the joy
Felt today in every breast.
On this festival divine
Which records the origin
Of the glorious Eucharist.
On this table of the King,
Our new Paschal offering
Brings to end the olden rite.
Here, for empty shadows fled,
Is reality instead,
Here, instead of darkness, light.
His own act, at supper seated
Christ ordain'd to be repeated
In His memory divine;
Wherefore now, with adoration,
We, the host of our salvation,
Consecrate from bread and wine.
Hear, what holy Church maintaineth,
That the bread its substance changeth
Into Flesh, the wine to Blood.
Doth it pass thy comprehending?
Faith, the law of sight transcending
Leaps to things not understood.
Here beneath these signs are hidden
Priceless things, to sense forbidden,
Signs, not things, are all we see.
Flesh from bread, and Blood from wine,
Yet is Christ in either sign,
All entire, confessed to be.
They, who of Him here partake,
Sever not, nor rend, nor break:
But, entire, their Lord receive.
Whether one or thousands eat:
All receive the self-same meat:
Nor the less for others leave.
Both the wicked and the good
Eat of this celestial Food:
But with ends how opposite!
Here 't is life: and there 't is death:
The same, yet issuing to each
In a difference infinite.
Nor a single doubt retain,
When they break the Host in twain,
But that in each part remains
What was in the whole before.
Since the simple sign alone
Suffers change in state or form:
The signified remaining one
And the same for evermore.
Lo! bread of the Angels broken,
For us pilgrims food, and token
Of the promise by Christ spoken,
Children’s meat, to dogs denied.
Shewn in Isaac's dedication,
In the manna's preparation:
In the Paschal immolation,
In old types pre-signified.
Jesu, shepherd of the sheep:
Thou thy flock in safety keep,
Living bread, thy life supply:
Strengthen us, or else we die,
Fill us with celestial grace.
Thou, who feedest us below:
Source of all we have or know:
Grant that with Thy Saints above,
Sitting at the feast of love,
We may see Thee face to face.
Amen. Alleluia.
~St. Thomas Aquinas, for the feast of Corpus Christi, 1264
For those who want to hear the chant in Latin.
At St. John's today, it was sung by the cantress with the angelic voice, so imagine that, except higher and more beautiful.
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
4:50 PM
0
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Catholicism, Eucharist, St. Thomas Aquinas
Friday, February 19, 2010
I thought I'd share this wrong e-mail from a week or two ago:
its elder bischoff. how is the life as a not missionary? are you being good? hey guess what, elder draper set a date with shannon his first day in hermitage. im so pissed, he set like four dates his first day there. now everyone there is gunna think we were super lazy and all it took was a good missionary to get some work done. piss! he's just reaping our fruit!
thats all.
-elder Bischoff
PS. Let Me write your sister!
###
I think you've got the wrong e-mail address, but this web site might help you: http://www.catholic.com/library/pillar.asp.
In Christ,
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
11:25 AM
1 Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Catholicism, wrong e-mail
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Catechebulary.
- Clever; cunning: I tried to screw him over with legal speak, but he was ineffable and saw right through it.
- Incapable of sexual attraction; frigid: I walked up to the hawt chick in the bar and tried to get her digits, but she was ineffable.
- Able to be placed in the letter "F".
- Of or relating to narcotics, particular those of an illegal nature: arrested and sent to prison for possession of consubstantial material.
- The state of being on board a submarine with a guy named Stan.
- Having an intense fear of carnivals or fiestas: We wanted to go to the state fair, but Sue is incarnate.
- To be turned into an automobile: Steve was incarnated as a Ford Thundercougarfalconbird.
- A word that the designers of the game Indigo Prophecy don't know the meaning of: the girl has a pure soul and has never been incarnated.
- My friend, Nate, who sits around in his car all day.
- The rage a conductor feels when the violist misses the entrance for his solo for the umpteenth consecutive time.
- An early 19th century art movement that focused on producing artwork of reddish-blue and light purple hues.
- A type of mocking cheer practiced in some rural European areas that involves clapping while giving a raspberry: the peasants showed their distaste for the performer's interpretation with a standing oblation.
- A perverse sexual act involving a woodwind.
- The first word of the Sign of the Cross, in Latin: Ignominy Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti.
- A shameful display of lawn ornaments, esp. one involving lots of gnomes.
- A very small fire: After hours of rubbing twigs together, all I had to show for it was an ignominy.
- The loss of a PvP battleground to a team consisting entirely of gnomes: an ignominious defeat.
- The emptiness between each blink of a cursor on a computer.
- The letter audible immediately before the bleep in censored dialog that is only there so you know what word is being said.
- To use a consubstantial narcotic.
- To use some poor woman who doesn't know English very well to try and get signatures to end women's suffrage. Jimmy Kimmel is an ass.
- Never having lost to an Aston Martin Vanquish in a race: After twelve races, the Ferrari was still unvanquished.
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
11:42 AM
1 Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Catholicism, dictionary, humor
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Ask Dr. Breen.
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
11:01 PM
6
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Ask Dr. Breen, Catholicism, Half-Life 2, Stupidity
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Too Inspirational Not to Link.
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
4:43 PM
2
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Catholicism, For all the Saints
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Offering of Indulgences: A Game Theory An Operations Research Approach.
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
3:15 PM
5
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Catholicism, math, spirituality
Friday, December 19, 2008
One of the things I love about our faith is how rational it is; that is, how much it just makes sense. It is very rare that, so long as I am looking at the world from a Christian perspective, that it confuses me or doesn't make sense, particularly where human behavior is concerned. With the concepts of Original Sin, or man's fallen nature, or our innate desire for God, or the natural law, or guilt, or conscience, Holy Mother Church has very well instructed those who, like me, are not wise enough to figure out why people act as they do.
Brilliantly Written by
Joe
at
1:41 PM
5
Witless Retort(s)
File Under: Catholicism, Joe thinks he's an intellectual