Area Man Lovesh Reliability-Centered Maintenance "Shoooo Much". Hic!

FORT WORTH, TX - According to shourshesh closhe to him, area man Joe Belland lovesh reliability-centered maintenance, eshpecially when ushed by the Miller Brewing Company and bottling plant. During a reshent shalesh preshentation, Belland was reported to shtate "and ash you can shee, by implemendering a pretendive maintenananshe polishy with manned plaintenanshe every 62-hundred, 8-thoushan hoursh, and inshpectionsh every 44-hunderd hoursh, we have increashed the avaibalibity of thish compontent and redushed the total lifetime cosht by... I love you all shooo much."

It wash reported that Belland then broke down and began crying for a half-hour, muttering shomething about "you don't look at me when we make love anymore," before pashing out on the floor in a puddle of hish own vomit. Miller Brewing Company hash announshed it will shtop giving free shamplesh to vendorsh making shalesh pitchesh—Hic!