Choose Your Own April Fool's Day Joke

It's early in the morning and you're bleary-eyed and groggy. Sitting down at your computer with a fresh cup of coffee, you open your web browsing gadget thingy (which is Google Chrome, if you're any kind of cool) and navigate to F.U. News.

Boldly proclaimed in big letters at the top of the page is an exciting new story! It says:

If the story says "The Murloc is Pragnent (Again)," go to Pregnant.
If the story says "Space Pirates Gets Published," go to Pirates.
If the story says "Joe Dies in Fiery Auto Accident," go to Gruesome Demise.


Pregnant:
"Ohmigosh!" you scream, running to the phone. You dial Rie's number.

"Hello?" I tired-sounding voice answers.

"Congratulations!" you yell.

"For what?"

"For being pregnant!"

"I am?" the Murloc answers.

"Aren't you? Joe posted on his blog...." You look down to the calendar on your desk, and notice the date. "Oh, April Fools," you mutter.

If you find the joke funny, go to Funny.
If you feel embarrassed, go to Embarrassed.


Pirates:
"Ohmigosh!" you scream, running to the phone. You dial Joe's number.

"Hello?" a suave, soothing voice answers.

"Congratulations!" you yell.

"For what?"

"For getting published!"

You here Joe snickering on the other end of the line. "April Fools!" he shouts.

If you find the joke funny, go to Funny.

If you feel embarrassed, go to Embarrassed.

Gruesome Demise:

Ohmigosh!" you scream, running to the phone. You dial the Murloc's number.

"Hello?" a cackling voice answers.

"I'm so sorry for you loss!" you yell.

"What are you talking about?" the voice replies.

"Joe—your husband? He died?"

"I don't know anyone named Joe. You have the wrong number!"

"I'm sorry!"

The voice cackled again. "You have interrupted me and angered me! For that I curse you, I curse you, I curse you!" The sound of a click ends the phone call.

You put down the phone, wondering what that was all about. "What was that all about?" you ask, generally.

Suddenly, you double-over in pain. A tingling sensation runs up your spine, and your hands feel numb. You fall to the ground, writhing in agony. Your skin crawls. You look at your hand to see millions of tiny little bumps skittering underneath the surface. "Oh, god, what's happening to me!" you scream, wondering what's happening.

Suddenly, your body bursts into flame. You writhe in agony for a minute before finally being turned to ash.

THE END.

Funny:

"Haha, that was a funny joke," you remark.

THE END.

Embarrassed:

"That wasn't very funny," you remark, feeling embarrassed.

Suddenly a fairy appears and grants you three wishes. You live happily ever after.

THE END.

For other April Fool's Jokes:
Google renamed to Topeka.
Gmail experiences vowel outage.
Chrome offers sounds extension (actually pretty cool, until it gets really annoying).
Google announces the ReaderAdvantage™ Program. (Be sure to get your free badge!)
Google launches Translate for animals.
Picasa announces LifeSize™ photos.
Extra Dimension discovered in Street View.
Water discovered on moon.