Aftershock Of Loud, Shrill Shriek Felt In The Southland
Area woman's shrill shriek heard on August 11, 2005 makes itself known once more.

IRVINE, CA - On Wednesday, September 7, 2005, at about 9:00 am PDT, a more muted shriek was heard coming from an undisclosed building in the heart of Orange County. Anne Marie Belland, who had been missing for several weeks, found the Blizzard that had called to her as F.U.News reported on August 11, 2005. Upon identifying her whereabouts, police canceled the search.

Wednesday's shriek was more muted than the original, and was merely refered to as an aftershock by seismologist. "Luckily, this one wasn't all that bad," stated Dr. Katina Esslinger of the Caltech Seismological Laboratory. "It could have been a lot worse, but I think she finally found what she was looking for."

After many calls, emails, letters, bloodhounds, and trackers, F.U. News was able to locate Mrs. Belland. Here is our exclusive interview:

FUN: Thank you for speeking with us, Mrs. Belland. For a while there, we thought we'd lost you.

AMB: (laughs) Yeah, the reports of my disappearance were greatly exagerated.

FUN: Can you tell us more about this "Blizzard" that you heard calling you?

AMB: Sure.

FUN: Will you please?

AMB: You betcha.

FUN: Now?

AMB: Well, OK. Blizzard Entertainment® is a premier publisher of entertainment software. Since establishing the Blizzard label in 1994, the company has quickly become one of the most popular and well-respected makers of computer games. With blockbuster hits including World of Warcraft® and the Warcraft®, Diablo®, and StarCraft® series, the company has enjoyed back-to-back number-one selling games, as well as consecutive Game of the Year awards. The company's free online game service, Battle.net®, is the largest in the world with millions of active users.

FUN: Okay, so it's not a giant killer snow storm. How did you end up with such a presitigious company.

AMB: Well, it's true what they tell you: Persistance does indeed pay off. I'd been applying to Blizzard for nearly a year, even applying for jobs below my experience level. Anything to get in the door. And all those cover letters and resumes paid off. Shortly after I sent in my fourth application, I got a call for an interview, and then shortly after that, I got a call informing me that Blizzard wanted me.

FUN: So what are you doing? Advanced A.I. programming? Writing cell-shaders with DirectX 9?

AMB: (laughs) No. As it turns out, even video game developers need executive assistants.

FUN: Proving that it is possible to get into the video game industry with no programming or artistic experience! So how did you hear about Blizzard?

AMB: That one I can safely blame on my husband. He introduced me to Warcraft II back in '96, and the rest is history.

FUN: So, what's it like working for the premier video games developer. Mind enlightening us about how your first day went?

AMB: Of course! It's like no other job i've ever had. I couldn't sleep the night before, I was so excited. I was running on nothing but adrenaline the entire day! I arrived a little before 9am, which is my starting time, and waited for the HR rep to come get me and take me behind the magical doors. Once inside, they sat me down and made sure I had all my paper work in order. Then they took my picture (with a webcam, no less) for my badge, and then gave me a stack of swag.

FUN: Swag?

AMB: Yeah, swag. Booty, treasure, goodies... all free.

FUN: Like what?

AMB: Well, the Warcraft III battlechest, Starcraft battlechest, Diablo battlechest, and a free copy of World of Warcraft (not that I need it).

FUN: Oo. Can I have?

AMB: No. They also gave me some free subscription account keys for World of Warcraft, posters, and a bunch of other goodies.

FUN: Wow. Free games and goodies. You sure I can't have any?

AMB: Yes. Anyways, after the "business" side of it, they gave me the grand tour of the building. Half of the workers in the building were playing games, and it was only 9:30 in the morning! As it was, they informed me that playing games is essential to being a part of Blizzard, so long as you get your work done. They even have a cabinet filled with ALL sorts of games, ranging from PC to Xbox, for employees to play.

FUN: So... they get paid to play games. No wonder they always miss their release dates. And why am I not working there?

AMB: (laughs) Yeah, amazing they get any work done at all. And yet, they do! Because it's not work! They're having fun doing their work! It's the best type of job there could possibly be... no stress, everyone's laid back. Everyone there is either wearing jeans or shorts, t-shirts, tennies or flip-flops. It's a bunch of gamers. It's what you expect from gamers.

FUN: I'm hating my job more and more. Why don't I work there?

AMB: Haha, loser.

FUN: So... can you get me a job there?

AMB: Funny, I only started yesterday and I've already had some of my friends clamoring for me to get them jobs there. I must be their proverbial foot in the proverbial door.

FUN: So you get free stuff, you get paid to play games, any other cool things, like "nude Friday's, sponsored by Playboy?"

AMB: Wouldn't you like to know.

FUN: I hate my job. Anyways, Mrs. Belland, again, thank you for taking the time to talk with us. I wish you the best now and for the future with Blizzard!

AMB: Thank you! Hey? What's this $100 bill you had in the hand you shook my hand with?

FUN: *wink wink*

AMB: It says "For HR" on it. I don't get it.

FUN: Well then. Um, yeah. Have a good day and good luck on the new job.

Thus ended our interview with the newly hired employee at Blizzard, and after getting patted-down by Blizzard security, no doubt looking for swiped souvenirs, Blizzard let us out the door and back into the Irvine sun.