Man Awakes to Find Beached Whale in Bed

In a 911 call that made eyebrow-raising history, Sam Burud informed a skeptical operator that he had awakened to find a beached whale in his bed. His wife was nowhere to be found, and he suspected that the beluga had ingested her. Burud was completely oblivious as to how the marine creature had found its way into his sleeping quarters, but requested its immediate removal. Thinking the man was delusional or “under the influence,” the operator hesitated to send a squad car out to the house. A few minutes later, the man called back to inform the emergency personnel that he had mistaken his 8-month pregnant wife for a whale. Mrs. Burud declined to comment, perhaps because she could not make her way to the telephone. However, the couch (sans pillows) that appeared outside in the back yard did not escape the notice of our news crews. It appears that Burud will be spending his nights there for quite some time to come. However, Burud encourages his wife to look on the bright side: "At least her gestation period is not 14-16 months long, and our baby will hopefully weigh nowhere near 80-125 lbs. There are advantages to not being a beluga..." It is our opinion that there are also advantages to not mistaking your wife for one.