Wednesday, March 05, 2008

I've always (read: for the last five minutes) thought it would be funny/interesting if someone made a romantic comedy about someone like me trying to get into the modern dating scene. I don't know how most of the movie would go, but one of the early scenes might go something like this. (The setup is that I'm in a bar trying to get a date, when I strike up a conversation with a cute girl.)

Cute girl: "Who's your favorite band?"
Me: "Oh, that's a tough question. So many good ones to choose from. I mean, the London Symphony Orchestra has a special place in my heart, but that's mainly because they recorded all six Star Wars soundtracks*. I also like the Academy of St. Martin in the Fields, but I don't know that they're my favorite. I might only say that because, as the most recorded chamber orchestra in the world*, they're who I hear the most. There's also the Los Angeles Master Chorale. The pastor at my old parish knows the conductor*...."
Cute girl (giving odd look): "No, I mean who's your favorite band."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Cute girl: "Y'know. Like what band is your favorite?"
Me: "Oh, band. Probably the Hanover Band. I like how they use period instruments in their recordings*. Y'know, I have their complete collection of Beethoven's Symphonies, Fidelio overtures, and Missa Solemnis*. Really fantastic stuff...."
Cute girl: "No, I mean like. Your favorite musical group, with like, four members?"
Me: "Oh, wow. Limiting it to groups of four? Hm, let's see. That would probably have to be Anonymous Four then. They're seriously good at the medieval chant and such, but lately they've branched out into gospel and shape-note singing.... (Cute girl looks distracted). What's your favorite band?"
Cute girl: "Oh, I like Aerosmith."
~Five minutes later, same bar scene~
Another stock cute girl: "So, what's your favorite band?"
Me: "I like Aerosmith."
ASCG: "Really? Me too!"
~Alternate twist ending~
ASCG: "Oh, they're OK. I really like Anonymous Four.

From there it's a pretty generic chick flick. Boy meets Girl, and must win her affection. Girl doesn't realize that Boy is perfect for her and must overcome her personal tragedy, only to realize that Boy has been there for her all along, set against the backdrop of the North East blackout of 2003. Except it doesn't end with Boy jumping into bed with Girl at the first chance he gets. (Unless of course Girl is played by Natalie Portman, Keira Knightley, or Scarlett Johansson.)

*True facts.

2 comments:

  1. I'd be afraid to jump into the same bus with Scarlett Johansson. That girl checks herself for AIDS like every 10 minutes. Besides I don't think she's that cute. I have more of a thing for hispanic chicks anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  2. hey! my life is a generic chick flick where the girl can't get over the outward signs of schizophrenia to realize that the guy is perfect for her and that he really won't kill her... well, until that one time...

    ReplyDelete

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