How To: Install an App from the Apple App Store™ to your iPhone
The great thing about Apple products is how easy they are to use. This is no less true of the iPhone. Installing apps on Android is so hard, what with the choice of vendors. Do I want to buy something from the Android Marketplace or the Amazon App Store? So many decisions. It just makes the process so complex.
Well, Apple doesn't have that problem. In fact, they make it so easy to download and install a (free) app. How easy, you ask? Well, it's so easy I can explain it in 82 simple steps.
Step 1: Locate the app you wish to download on the App Store™. To do this, enter the app name in the "search" tab of the App Store™.
When that doesn't find it, as it probably won't, try every conceivable spelling of the app you want. Try boolean search operators. Then finally give up and pray that the app is easy to find in the Top 25 or in Categories.
Step 2: Tap the "Install" button and enter your Apple ID account password.
Note that this guide assumes you've already created an iTunes account and linked it to your iPhone. If you have not, you will need to read the 453 page manual on how to accomplish that.
Step 3: If it has been a week or more since your last download from the App Store, Apple will have locked your account "for security reasons". This is because they assume that if you don't purchase something from them at least once a week, something is Wrong with you. Tap "Reset" to reset your account.
Step 4: You will be taken to "iForgot" which assumes you are a stupid idiot who has forgotten his password. Enter your Apple ID to unlock your account, then tap "Next".
Step 5: You may either unlock your account by email or by answering your security question. For this example, we will answer the security question.
Step 6: Verify your birth date.
Step 7: Answer your secret question.
Step 8: You may now unlock your Apple ID.
Step 10: Congratulations! Your account has been unlocked!
Step 11: Repeat steps 1 and 2. Re-enter your Apple ID account password.
Step 12: Before proceeding, you will need to verify your payment info. This step is necessary even to download free apps.
Step 13: Re-enter your Apple ID account password.
Step 14: Confirm your credit card information. Tap "Done" when finished.
Step 15: Repeat steps 1 and 2. Re-enter your Apple ID account password.
Step 16: It is likely that the iTunes terms and conditions have changed. Apple changes them about every month. You will need to agree to the new terms to continue.
Steps 17-78: Read the 62-page Terms and Conditions and Apple Privacy Policy, in their entirety, on the screen of your phone. We'll wait.
| Be sure not to skim or skip, because it would be a lie to say you've read and agree to the terms when you haven't. Apple doesn't want you to lie. |
Step 79: Tap "Agree", then tap "Agree" again. Remember: no lying.
Step 80: Thank you for accepting the terms. Please try your purchase (of a free app) again.
Step 81: Repeat steps 1 and 2. Re-enter your Apple ID account password.
Step 82: Congratulations! You're done! The app will now begin to download. Please make sure to connect to a WiFi network for faster download, or suffer the fickle and arbitrary AT&T 3G network. Also, be sure to tap the screen at least once per minute, otherwise the device will enter standby mode and the download will be interrupted.
See how easy that was?




That was unbelievably assinine. Who designs this stuff???
ReplyDeleteWow. I didn't think it was possible to hate Apple even more than I did before. I have been proven wrong. >_<
ReplyDeleteIn comparison:
"How To: Install an App for your Android phone"
Step 1: Locate the app you wish to download from either the Android Marketplace or Amazon App Store. To do this, click on the magnifying glass icon, either located on the phone or on the screen. Enter the app name in the "search" field. It might take one or two searches to locate the app.
Step 2: Once the app has been located, tap on it's icon, and then tap the "download" button.
Step 3: Verify the download by tapping the "Ok" button.
Step 4: Congratulations! You're done! The app will now begin to download. Being connected to a WiFi network is preferable for faster download. However, the download can still be done at a slightly slower rate on the Sprint 3G (or 4G, depending on your location) network. There is no need to incesantly tap the screen while the app is being downloaded, as the download will continue even if the phone goes into standby mode.
Now, THAT is easy.
*loves her Android phone*
~ The Resident Murloc